A video on TikTok has gone viral after a therapist shared 15 “small but very significant things” every person should know about their romantic partner.
Jeff Guenther shared 15 questions every person should ask their partner by the time they’ve been dating for six months and some of them may surprise you.
Earning nearly four million views since it was posted, Guenther’s questions ranged from light-hearted topics such as their favourite food to more serious topics like how much alone time they need.
Although the American-based therapist gave little insight into why it’s important to know the answers to these exact questions when he posted the video on TikTok, he later wrote an article for The Knot where he provided clarification.
In regards to the question about which family member “triggers” your partner the most, he said it’s good to know the answer so you can be prepared for interactions that may cause negative emotions.
“No matter how stable and ‘together’ we think we are, our families can instantly cause us to emotionally fall apart or regress into teenage angst.
“If you know how your partner reacts to their family, you won’t be thrown off when they’re upset by their parents or siblings. Instead, you’ll know how to support them through a tough time.
“And more importantly, if you do something to remind them of their family dynamic that causes them to emotionally spiral, you’ll be able to take a step back and do your best to not take it personally. Our old family patterns inevitably resurface in our romantic relationships. It’s smart to be prepared to handle it,” he said.
Guenther went on to reveal it is good to know how to support your partner when they are stressed or upset noting these are unavoidable feelings and by knowing how to support them you are able to “connect in a vulnerable way”.
Photo / TikTok @therapyjeff
Another important question the therapist listed was “what do they ultimately want from this relationship?”
The video has more than 2000 comments with some viewers suggesting more questions to ask such as “which way do they hang their toilet paper” – to which Guenther quickly replied, “Verrrrrry important!” Another user said, “the temperature they like the thermostat in the house”.
Meanwhile, other TikTok users joked in the comment section with one saying “so… can I just rapid fire these at him later, or what?”
Guenther, who goes under the username “therapyjeff” on TikTok, is a qualified therapist with a master’s degree in marriage and family therapy from the University of Southern California. He posts many videos sharing insight into how to maintain a healthy relationship with your romantic partner.
The full list:
1. How do they want to celebrate their birthday?
2. How much alone time, if any, do they need?
3. What’s their favourite food?
4. What turns them on and gets them in the mood?
5. How long do they need to get ready and head out the door?
6. What’s their favourite TV show, movie, and band?
7. What’s their most controversial take?
8. Who is their best friend, and why?
9. What family member triggers them the most?
10. What will instantly make them laugh?
11. What’s their biggest insecurity?
12. What’s the best way to support them when they’re stressed or upset?
13. What do they ultimately want from this relationship?
14. What do they allow themselves to financially splurge on?
15. What’s their biggest guilty pleasure?
This article was first published by the NZ Herald and is republished here with permission.